| Platinum | The Final Frontier | All trophies unlocked! Wow! You got all the things! Did all the stuff! Endured all the poop jokes! Good job! | 1% Ultra Rare | 400 pts |
| Bronze | I Come in Peace | Slap every alien creature at least once. I suppose that counts as "first contact". | 1.3% Ultra Rare | 85 pts |
| Silver | No Refunds | Finish the game in under 4 hours. See you at GDQ! | 1.6% Ultra Rare | 113 pts |
| Bronze | Shocking | Stun 5 creatures simultaneously with Shock Fruit. Stone cold. | 2% Ultra Rare | 66 pts |
| Bronze | Scott Norwood in the Hizzy... | Kick 25 Pufferbirds and 25 Maroons. It's ok. I don't know who Scott Norwood is either. | 2.4% Ultra Rare | 59 pts |
| Bronze | Turdball Wizard | Consecutively bounce on 5 different Springy Egg Sacs. It's like an ethically-iffy bouncy castle! | 3.1% Ultra Rare | 51 pts |
| Silver | Botanist | Scan all the flora on AR-Y 26! | 3.7% Ultra Rare | 68 pts |
| Bronze | Screw This Noise | You've returned home without fully completing your mission. I'd start looking for new work. | 3.8% Ultra Rare | 45 pts |
| Silver | Zoologist | Scan all the creatures on AR-Y 26! | 4.2% Ultra Rare | 63 pts |
| Silver | The Answer is 42 | Fully decrypt and watch the tower origin transmission. | 5.2% Very Rare | 56 pts |
| Silver | Who Is Teratomo? | Collect and read every Alien Explorer Log. | 5.4% Very Rare | 55 pts |
| Bronze | That's all people really want to do... | Kick 10 Pufferbirds in 45 seconds. It's why you bought the game. We get it. | 6.3% Very Rare | 33 pts |
| Gold | The $600 Man | 3D-print all the 3D-printables. After that, go ahead and 3D-print yourself a gold star! | 6.4% Very Rare | 66 pts |
| Silver | Stronger, Faster, Probably Poisonous | Recklessly and irresponsibly eat every Orange Goo on AR-Y 26. | 6.7% Very Rare | 48 pts |
| Bronze | Cannibals | Bait 5 creatures into attacking each other. Divide and conquer: Classic strat.
| 8.5% Very Rare | 28 pts |
| Bronze | Pinball Wizard | Kill 5 creatures with a single Charged Shot. Because aiming is for chumps! | 8.8% Very Rare | 27 pts |
| Bronze | Stop Crapping On Me, Jessie | Got pooped on by a Skipper. That's good luck, depending on who you ask. Not me. I think it's gross. | 9% Very Rare | 27 pts |
| Gold | Home At Last | You've returned home after fully completing your mission! You're a hero! | 12.2% Rare | 45 pts |
| Bronze | Your Friendly Neighbourhood... | Execute 10 consecutive grapples without touching the ground. You're like some kind of arachnid-man. | 14.5% Rare | 20 pts |
| Bronze | Au-revoir Gopher! | Kill 5 Schnozos in 15 seconds. Moles ain't gonna whack themselves. | 14.8% Rare | 20 pts |
| Bronze | It's Me. But Not Me. But Still Me. | Scan your own corpse. Best not to think about it too much... | 17.6% Rare | 18 pts |
| Bronze | Deleted But Not Forgotten | Read all of the previous explorer's emails. Kinda nosy if you ask me. | 17.9% Rare | 18 pts |
| Bronze | We came, We Saw, We Kicked Its Ass | Crack Cragclaw with a Co-Op partner. Teamwork really does make the dream work. | 20.3% Uncommon | 16 pts |
| Silver | Build It Up | Gather half the Alien Alloy on AR-Y 26. I'm half-impressed! | 20.4% Uncommon | 25 pts |
| Gold | Teratomo? Teratomo! | Re-emerged onto AR-Y 26 after killing Teratomo. Back to work, I suppose! | 22.4% Uncommon | 31 pts |
| Silver | Teratomo Defeated | Teratomo is no mo'. Now go take a shower. You smell bad. Very bad. | 22.4% Uncommon | 23 pts |
| Bronze | A Little Help, Please | Revive your Co-Op partner. Let's hope they learn to start pulling their weight. | 23.6% Uncommon | 15 pts |
| Silver | For Science! | Complete the first set of Science Experiments. Science: It's not just for nerds! | 23.9% Uncommon | 22 pts |
| Silver | Open Seasame | Enter The Spire. I've got a bad feeling about this... | 24.5% Uncommon | 22 pts |
| Bronze | Don't Cross the Streams | Slapped your Co-Op partner. I'm sure you had a good reason for it. | 28.8% Uncommon | 13 pts |
| Bronze | Little Shop of Horrors | Fed 5 Pufferbirds to a Meat Vortex. Yes, it blends! | 29% Uncommon | 13 pts |
| Bronze | Ambidextrous | Use every left hand tool in the game. Gotta hand it to you: You're pretty handy. | 29.8% Uncommon | 13 pts |
| Bronze | What Would You Two Maniacs Like To Do First? | Start a Co-Op game. It must be nice having friends... | 30.2% Uncommon | 13 pts |
| Bronze | It's Not In The Game | Collect every obnoxious video ad on your computer. | 31.1% Uncommon | 13 pts |
| Silver | Floopsnoot Queen Defeated | Successfully ended the bloodline of an endangered alien species! Congratulations! | 33.4% Uncommon | 18 pts |
| Silver | Cragclaw Defeated | Cragclaw down. Break out the garlic butter! | 46.8% Common | 15 pts |
| Bronze | I Want To Go Home. Eventually. | Marked your first fuel pod. Momma, I'm coming home! | 48% Common | 10 pts |
| Bronze | Return To Sender | Retrieved your own loot box. Death is no excuse for leaving behind Kindred property! | 57% Common | 9 pts |
| Bronze | Flippin' the bird | Get launched by a Pufferbird, then kill it. | 65.4% Common | 8 pts |
| Bronze | Aaaaaaand we're back | You died! Now you're not dead! Huh. Weird! | 67.4% Common | 8 pts |
| Bronze | I Feel The Same. I Think? | Unlock the Alien Teleportation System. Beats walking! | 68.1% Common | 8 pts |
| Bronze | Phone Home | Play a video message from Kindred. Guess they didn't forget about us! | 77.8% Common | 7 pts |
| Bronze | He Slimed Me | Got covered in ooey-gooey alien guts. | 90.6% Common | 7 pts |
| Bronze | Colonizer | Set foot on AR-Y 26 for the first time. I guess that counts as an achievement? | 95.4% Common | 6 pts |