| Platinum | Platinum Trophy (Thanks for your money suckers) | Do everything. Now go preorder Trover 2, you little popsicle stick. | 6.4% Very Rare | 131 pts |
| Gold | Worst Guest Ever | You did it! You killed every killable NPC! You're certified, psychopathic killer! Someone should probably call the police... | 8.1% Very Rare | 57 pts |
| Gold | Final Upgrade! | You got the final upgrade! You're all sticky, like a popsicle stick! | 8.7% Very Rare | 55 pts |
| Gold | You Actually Did It?! | What the hell is the matter with you?! You actually made 100 baskets?! What are you a sociopath?! How long did this take you?! | 11.6% Rare | 46 pts |
| Gold | The Ultimate Happy Ending | Collect all Power Babies in the game. Then prepare to have your shnudler ringled! | 15.4% Rare | 39 pts |
| Bronze | Jesus, Are You Still Listening To This? | Listen to the entirety of Pop Up's introduction, and ignore the homeless man being murdered outside your door. | 16.1% Rare | 19 pts |
| Gold | Daddy Gotta Eat! | Instead of feeding the poor, feed Gail's roommate in under 5 minutes! | 16.6% Rare | 37 pts |
| Silver | BALL FUN TIME | Bounce a ball 25 times in the apartment, because apparently that's more fun than the actual game. | 22.8% Uncommon | 23 pts |
| Silver | It's A Video Game, Kill Something! | Don't kill any villagers, because God forbid you do something out of the ordinary! | 23.1% Uncommon | 23 pts |
| Silver | Don't Get Dooped | Escape Doopy without putting boxes in the garage, because charity work is lame and you're not lame. You're a cool little popsicle stick, aren't you? | 23.2% Uncommon | 23 pts |
| Bronze | Really? This Game's Not That Good | Replay the game, instead of getting a real job.
| 27.8% Uncommon | 14 pts |
| Gold | No Winners In This Game! | Beat Glorkon without getting killed by anyone... Including me. That’s right, I’ve been hunting you. | 30.6% Uncommon | 26 pts |
| Silver | You Almost Solved It! Keep Going! | Press the buttons on the Puzzle Tree over 50 times, 'cause you don't know how to listen, you cute little popsicle stick. | 32.2% Uncommon | 19 pts |
| Silver | Bet You Can't Make 100 | You made 10 baskets, now make 100! Come on, what else do you gotta do today? | 33.1% Uncommon | 18 pts |
| Silver | Clone on Clone Crime | Let the two arguing clones kill each other and then don't report it... This isn't game for snitches! | 34.4% Uncommon | 18 pts |
| Bronze | Here's a damn trophy, now stop killing me! | Jump Trover into the Acid Lake 5 times. How is this even a trophy? | 36.7% Uncommon | 12 pts |
| Silver | Trover ****s the Universe | You beat the game! You can die a happy now, you slimy, little popsicle stick. | 39.7% Uncommon | 16 pts |
| Silver | Here's Donny! | Witness Donny's death, then write an essay about it for your college application. | 44.2% Common | 15 pts |
| Bronze | That went well... | Glorkon mixed the world! Wait, they get a trophy for that? It’s just a cut scene. They didn’t do anything... God, this is so dumb. | 44.4% Common | 10 pts |
| Silver | WE <3 MURDER | Kill every villager. That's right, we celebrate violence! What do you think about that mom and dad?! | 45.3% Common | 15 pts |
| Gold | Instant Clone Soup | Collect the clone DNA in under 10 minutes. That's it? That's all they have to do? Man, we're just giving these things away. | 58.3% Common | 17 pts |
| Bronze | BBALL IN THE BBALL HOLE | IT'S BBALL TIME IN THE BBALL HOLE PLACE! MAKE ONE BBALL BASKET IN THE TELEPOD LIKE A GOOD LITTLE BBALL BOY OR BBALL GIRL! | 58.9% Common | 9 pts |
| Silver | Pet Cemetery | Kill all of Tony's pets... I'm tired of them pooping on my lawn. | 77.9% Common | 11 pts |
| Bronze | You Didn't Have To Do That | You killed a NPC. That’s gonna affect the whole game! That’s right, your actions have consequences this game! | 93.8% Common | 7 pts |